Dear Popular Science
Oct. 16th, 2007 04:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
treehatToday, in the mail, I got a letter from Popular Science with the header 5 Reasons to Come Back to Popular Science.
Okay, PopSci, here's the thing. I let my subscription run out - several years ago - because you weren't very interesting. I did not dump you to go run off with some other publication. Neither did I storm out of the room because you embarrassed me. And I certainly didn't move and take all your stuff with me without telling you. None of this happened because you are, in fact, a magazine and not a girl I was dating. This may surprise you, given your insistent begging for me to come back, but I'm sorry. You're just a stack of glossy pages.
There is also, of course, the fact that I've never dated anybody, which makes your delusional pleading even more silly. But that's beside the point.
Please, stop this crazy line of thought you have, because you are nothing but an inanimate tree corpse, and in fact, cannot think.
Okay, PopSci, here's the thing. I let my subscription run out - several years ago - because you weren't very interesting. I did not dump you to go run off with some other publication. Neither did I storm out of the room because you embarrassed me. And I certainly didn't move and take all your stuff with me without telling you. None of this happened because you are, in fact, a magazine and not a girl I was dating. This may surprise you, given your insistent begging for me to come back, but I'm sorry. You're just a stack of glossy pages.
There is also, of course, the fact that I've never dated anybody, which makes your delusional pleading even more silly. But that's beside the point.
Please, stop this crazy line of thought you have, because you are nothing but an inanimate tree corpse, and in fact, cannot think.
