Don't eat the fish.
Oct. 4th, 2006 04:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
treehatI had an absurdly strange dream last night. Which isn't something that happens often, but this one was weird enough that I can remember a good amount of the details. It was... well, it was bloody weird.
It starts out, and I'm in some sort of supermarket. I grab a vacuum-sealed package of a dozen chicken wings (labeled in a pseudo-Asian script) and a gallon bottle of hot sauce. I decided that this was a bit of a load to carry, so I go to get a cart. I go to get the cart, but there's something weird about it. I then realize that it's normal sized when I'm pushing it with the bar, but when I walk around it, it's suddenly turned into a ten foot long plastic slab.
After a while, I take my wings and sauce and leave. Somehow, I end up in a kitchen in a large government fallout bunker. There's other people there, including some whom I somehow know but have never seen before. At some point, they start deep-frying salmon while I just stand around staring. One lady (a customer, perhaps?) grabs one of them, covers it in hot sauce, and eats it in one gulp. I should mention this was a whole salmon, eyes and all. She convulses, falls on the floor and blacks out. Literally blacks out, as she turns pitch black and fades into the shadows. I prodded the air where she was, but there's nothing there. The cooks carry on like nothing happened.
Now, I should be deeply disturbed by this, but I'm not. Dreams are nutty that way.
A short while thereafter, a skinny old crone with horn-rimmed glasses and a nose that could be used to eviscerate an armadillo appears out of nowhere, and slams a large erlenmyer flask down on the counter. Suddenly, I realize nobody else is there besides me and the crone. Without speaking, she produces a clipboard and pen and shoves it at me. On the clipboard is a form titled NUCLEAR SAMPLE CHECK-UP. Somehow, this fails to surprise me. I notice then that the flask is glowing faintly, though I can't see inside for some reason. I start to fill out the form, then pause at a line labeled "Initial % yield" followed by a box labeled "Ignition risk". The % yield is filled out with "1734% optimal discharge". Keep in mind these are as best as I can remember, and likely gibberish.
At this point, I realize that this flask is a radioactive explosive. Uh oh. I come to something on the chart that I can't record - the serial number. The flask is unmarked! The crone, not believing me, sends me to find it. So I get on a boat.
The boat is made out of the midsection of a large airplane, about twenty rows of seats. The walls have been removed, but the overhead compartments are still there. I sit up front next to a delightfully cheerful madman. He smiled at me and used a sharp wire garrote to floss his teeth. It turns out the boat was magic-driven, as a strangely-dressed man walked to the front. He announced we were casting off, and thrust a hand in front, past the edge of the boat. The boat instantly accelerated as everyone was knocked back in their seats from the sudden shock of suddenly jumping waves at 80MPH. I was too shocked to scream.
I was eventually able to turn around, and saw there were four boats traveling with us. One passed us to the left, and the other two passed on the right. Then I noticed that these were powered by a different magic, one that required the captain to create a miniature tornado at the rear, which somehow pushed them along. This obviously gave them more speed, but greatly reduced their maneuverability, as a freak wave suddenly knocked the middle boat (they were side-by-side at this point) that somehow caused the other two boats to collide into the third, causing a massive collision and a hundred-foot pillar of erupting water and debris. Our captain calmly navigated around them as the other captains started to slowly piece their boats together with some sort of telekinesis.
Somewhere in all of this, I discovered that the crone from earlier was one of two twins who were evil atomic physicists. And the person that had designed the opaque flask left it unlabeled on purpose. I was told to forget about the crone unless I wanted to turn a third of the earth into molten slag. So, I forgot.
The boat landed at a peculiar dock on an island. It was peculiar because it was constantly folding and unfolding into complex shapes. I got off, barely managed to avoid being squished between the planks (the madman was not so lucky, but he was about to stab me with a steel penguin, so I wasn't too upset) and stepped onto the island. It was a strange island, covered in grass and strange grey rock. I explored and eventually met a statue wearing a mask. It started talking to me. He told me he was a statue spirit or somesuch. I pretended to believe him. Eventually, it warned me that the lizards were coming and told me to follow. As I was wondering how I would follow a statue, the mask popped off with a green glow and organic green ooze dripping from behind. I followed him until he reached another identical statue and snapped on to it.
Next to this statue was a stone igloo. He somehow pushed me inside and told me to stay quiet. There were other people in the igloo, but on closer inspection they appeared to be made of stone. They were also wearing togas. Soon enough, I heard thundering footsteps, as if from a stampede, which slowed as they got near. I could see their silhouettes through the igloo's translucent stone window. They seemed to be velociraptors, five feet tall and with hideous teeth - some with fangs. I pressed myself up against the wall. I could see the nose of one poke through the doorway as it swung side to side, examining the inside. I held my breath and went completely flat against the wall. Eventually they left, and I breathed.
Next thing I knew, it was morning of the next day and the statue spirit was calling me. I went outside, then jumped back in terror at the creatures standing there. They were half raptor and half horse, larger than either should be and somewhat ill-tempered. They were being ridden by humans dressed in what must have been police outfits, but it still looked weird. Apparently, the spirit had called them in the night and told them there was a new guest - me - and they had come to escort me out of the raptors' territory. I somehow got on the raptor-horse-thing and rode with them, the mask creepily floating nearby. Eventually, we were attacked by a horde of velociraptors and started running on foot once the raptor part of our rides attacked the horse part.
And then I woke up. If my subconscious is trying to tell me something, I really don't want to know what.
It starts out, and I'm in some sort of supermarket. I grab a vacuum-sealed package of a dozen chicken wings (labeled in a pseudo-Asian script) and a gallon bottle of hot sauce. I decided that this was a bit of a load to carry, so I go to get a cart. I go to get the cart, but there's something weird about it. I then realize that it's normal sized when I'm pushing it with the bar, but when I walk around it, it's suddenly turned into a ten foot long plastic slab.
After a while, I take my wings and sauce and leave. Somehow, I end up in a kitchen in a large government fallout bunker. There's other people there, including some whom I somehow know but have never seen before. At some point, they start deep-frying salmon while I just stand around staring. One lady (a customer, perhaps?) grabs one of them, covers it in hot sauce, and eats it in one gulp. I should mention this was a whole salmon, eyes and all. She convulses, falls on the floor and blacks out. Literally blacks out, as she turns pitch black and fades into the shadows. I prodded the air where she was, but there's nothing there. The cooks carry on like nothing happened.
Now, I should be deeply disturbed by this, but I'm not. Dreams are nutty that way.
A short while thereafter, a skinny old crone with horn-rimmed glasses and a nose that could be used to eviscerate an armadillo appears out of nowhere, and slams a large erlenmyer flask down on the counter. Suddenly, I realize nobody else is there besides me and the crone. Without speaking, she produces a clipboard and pen and shoves it at me. On the clipboard is a form titled NUCLEAR SAMPLE CHECK-UP. Somehow, this fails to surprise me. I notice then that the flask is glowing faintly, though I can't see inside for some reason. I start to fill out the form, then pause at a line labeled "Initial % yield" followed by a box labeled "Ignition risk". The % yield is filled out with "1734% optimal discharge". Keep in mind these are as best as I can remember, and likely gibberish.
At this point, I realize that this flask is a radioactive explosive. Uh oh. I come to something on the chart that I can't record - the serial number. The flask is unmarked! The crone, not believing me, sends me to find it. So I get on a boat.
The boat is made out of the midsection of a large airplane, about twenty rows of seats. The walls have been removed, but the overhead compartments are still there. I sit up front next to a delightfully cheerful madman. He smiled at me and used a sharp wire garrote to floss his teeth. It turns out the boat was magic-driven, as a strangely-dressed man walked to the front. He announced we were casting off, and thrust a hand in front, past the edge of the boat. The boat instantly accelerated as everyone was knocked back in their seats from the sudden shock of suddenly jumping waves at 80MPH. I was too shocked to scream.
I was eventually able to turn around, and saw there were four boats traveling with us. One passed us to the left, and the other two passed on the right. Then I noticed that these were powered by a different magic, one that required the captain to create a miniature tornado at the rear, which somehow pushed them along. This obviously gave them more speed, but greatly reduced their maneuverability, as a freak wave suddenly knocked the middle boat (they were side-by-side at this point) that somehow caused the other two boats to collide into the third, causing a massive collision and a hundred-foot pillar of erupting water and debris. Our captain calmly navigated around them as the other captains started to slowly piece their boats together with some sort of telekinesis.
Somewhere in all of this, I discovered that the crone from earlier was one of two twins who were evil atomic physicists. And the person that had designed the opaque flask left it unlabeled on purpose. I was told to forget about the crone unless I wanted to turn a third of the earth into molten slag. So, I forgot.
The boat landed at a peculiar dock on an island. It was peculiar because it was constantly folding and unfolding into complex shapes. I got off, barely managed to avoid being squished between the planks (the madman was not so lucky, but he was about to stab me with a steel penguin, so I wasn't too upset) and stepped onto the island. It was a strange island, covered in grass and strange grey rock. I explored and eventually met a statue wearing a mask. It started talking to me. He told me he was a statue spirit or somesuch. I pretended to believe him. Eventually, it warned me that the lizards were coming and told me to follow. As I was wondering how I would follow a statue, the mask popped off with a green glow and organic green ooze dripping from behind. I followed him until he reached another identical statue and snapped on to it.
Next to this statue was a stone igloo. He somehow pushed me inside and told me to stay quiet. There were other people in the igloo, but on closer inspection they appeared to be made of stone. They were also wearing togas. Soon enough, I heard thundering footsteps, as if from a stampede, which slowed as they got near. I could see their silhouettes through the igloo's translucent stone window. They seemed to be velociraptors, five feet tall and with hideous teeth - some with fangs. I pressed myself up against the wall. I could see the nose of one poke through the doorway as it swung side to side, examining the inside. I held my breath and went completely flat against the wall. Eventually they left, and I breathed.
Next thing I knew, it was morning of the next day and the statue spirit was calling me. I went outside, then jumped back in terror at the creatures standing there. They were half raptor and half horse, larger than either should be and somewhat ill-tempered. They were being ridden by humans dressed in what must have been police outfits, but it still looked weird. Apparently, the spirit had called them in the night and told them there was a new guest - me - and they had come to escort me out of the raptors' territory. I somehow got on the raptor-horse-thing and rode with them, the mask creepily floating nearby. Eventually, we were attacked by a horde of velociraptors and started running on foot once the raptor part of our rides attacked the horse part.
And then I woke up. If my subconscious is trying to tell me something, I really don't want to know what.
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no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 01:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-10-05 02:18 am (UTC)