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Some people have a touch of death with plants. No matter what they do, their flowers simply let out an exasperated sigh and flop lifeless into the dirt, usually mere days after planting. And yet they keep trying hoping that this time, maybe there's a remote smidgen of a sliver of a hope of a chance that their daffodils won't go "poof" and become naught but a vaguely daffodil-shaped clump of dust.
I seem to have a similar problem with batteries, and perhaps consumer technology in general.
It's been going on for some time now, this "touch of discharge". I don't know for how long, but my iPod, Valiant Toaster has a much, much shorter battery life than it used to. I know there's been battery issues with the iPods, but I sort of assumed that it wouldn't keel over and die when, according to the battery meter, there was still two-thirds of a charge left. Which, by the way, is a relatively recent occurrence. Now, for a while I chalked this up to either a battery issue I had no control over or a side-effect of thinking of my iPod as a sneaky Cylon. (Why yes, I am a Battlestar Galactica geek.)
Then, it started to outright refuse to update from my iMac, Adama. Won't even let me do a software update, and Adama doesn't seem to know Toaster's there. Which may show the folly of naming two interacting devices after mortal enemies. But then, a few days ago, it did the unforgivable.
It ate my music.
I can no longer listen to any Kansas songs on Toaster, because he apparently didn't agree with my music and chomped the song files down to zero seconds. The songs are still there in the menu, but nothing plays. This has happened to a few other songs as well, including a good amount of my R.E.M. collection. True, it had done this before with chopping the last fifteen seconds off a few songs, but at least that was bearable. Anyway, at this point it seemed fairly obvious that I had a misbehaving robot on my hands. I pondered this on the trip down to Ohio, during which the battery cut out long before it should have. Of course.
But, when we got down there, I went to get my camera. I turned it on, but the battery meter was red and empty. When I had last used it, two weeks ago, it had a nearly full charge. I cried foul, but due to the one-eyed emotionless visage of the camera, I was unable to ascertain whether my foul cries had any effect. So I took a few pictures, whereupon the screen blanked out and declared "Battery Depleted." Now, we had some batteries in the car, in a little plastic bag. I grabbed two out of there and shoved them in the camera. Turned it on, an lo, "Battery Depleted." Naturally, this confused me. I checked, yes they were in properly, but the juice was just as nonexistent as an argyle moose. So I grabbed the other two batteries in the bag. Turn it on, beep-beep, "Battery Depleted." This is where, out of frustration, I probably muttered an expletive and glared at the bloody contraption while yanking my hair. Well, maybe the bag batteries really were depleted. Or perhaps it didn't like my generic rechargeable batteries. Alright. So. Then the camera should have absolutely no problem at all with this fresh, unopened package of Duracells.
I tell you, my naivety was nearly palpable. As were my exclamations, which I regret cannot be presented here. (Suffice it to say that "what the" appeared several times, as well as an accusation that the object was a portion of a donkey. And several words that don't technically exist.)
So, heading home today, it occurred to me that I likely have a touch of death with batteries. Every camera I've ever had has always run down the battery quicker than anyone else. My old cellphone was lucky if it lasted much longer than fifteen minutes of talking. My laptop runs out of battery twice as fast as it should*, and Valiant Toaster is turning into an expensive music-eating brick-with-a-screen. And there's probably other batteries that I've accidentally wrecked that I don't even know about.
Personally, I blame the battery gremlins. But people give you strange looks when you say "there's something on the, um, charger thing," so don't tell anyone.
*But then again, it is a Dell, so all bets are off regarding anything resembling quality performance.
I seem to have a similar problem with batteries, and perhaps consumer technology in general.
It's been going on for some time now, this "touch of discharge". I don't know for how long, but my iPod, Valiant Toaster has a much, much shorter battery life than it used to. I know there's been battery issues with the iPods, but I sort of assumed that it wouldn't keel over and die when, according to the battery meter, there was still two-thirds of a charge left. Which, by the way, is a relatively recent occurrence. Now, for a while I chalked this up to either a battery issue I had no control over or a side-effect of thinking of my iPod as a sneaky Cylon. (Why yes, I am a Battlestar Galactica geek.)
Then, it started to outright refuse to update from my iMac, Adama. Won't even let me do a software update, and Adama doesn't seem to know Toaster's there. Which may show the folly of naming two interacting devices after mortal enemies. But then, a few days ago, it did the unforgivable.
It ate my music.
I can no longer listen to any Kansas songs on Toaster, because he apparently didn't agree with my music and chomped the song files down to zero seconds. The songs are still there in the menu, but nothing plays. This has happened to a few other songs as well, including a good amount of my R.E.M. collection. True, it had done this before with chopping the last fifteen seconds off a few songs, but at least that was bearable. Anyway, at this point it seemed fairly obvious that I had a misbehaving robot on my hands. I pondered this on the trip down to Ohio, during which the battery cut out long before it should have. Of course.
But, when we got down there, I went to get my camera. I turned it on, but the battery meter was red and empty. When I had last used it, two weeks ago, it had a nearly full charge. I cried foul, but due to the one-eyed emotionless visage of the camera, I was unable to ascertain whether my foul cries had any effect. So I took a few pictures, whereupon the screen blanked out and declared "Battery Depleted." Now, we had some batteries in the car, in a little plastic bag. I grabbed two out of there and shoved them in the camera. Turned it on, an lo, "Battery Depleted." Naturally, this confused me. I checked, yes they were in properly, but the juice was just as nonexistent as an argyle moose. So I grabbed the other two batteries in the bag. Turn it on, beep-beep, "Battery Depleted." This is where, out of frustration, I probably muttered an expletive and glared at the bloody contraption while yanking my hair. Well, maybe the bag batteries really were depleted. Or perhaps it didn't like my generic rechargeable batteries. Alright. So. Then the camera should have absolutely no problem at all with this fresh, unopened package of Duracells.
I tell you, my naivety was nearly palpable. As were my exclamations, which I regret cannot be presented here. (Suffice it to say that "what the" appeared several times, as well as an accusation that the object was a portion of a donkey. And several words that don't technically exist.)
So, heading home today, it occurred to me that I likely have a touch of death with batteries. Every camera I've ever had has always run down the battery quicker than anyone else. My old cellphone was lucky if it lasted much longer than fifteen minutes of talking. My laptop runs out of battery twice as fast as it should*, and Valiant Toaster is turning into an expensive music-eating brick-with-a-screen. And there's probably other batteries that I've accidentally wrecked that I don't even know about.
Personally, I blame the battery gremlins. But people give you strange looks when you say "there's something on the, um, charger thing," so don't tell anyone.
*But then again, it is a Dell, so all bets are off regarding anything resembling quality performance.
