Mar. 30th, 2008

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"Botanist sues to stop CERN hurtling Earth into parallel universe"

I honestly can't come up with a better title than that. I'm flabbergasted.

Because clearly a botanist is better informed on this matter than all of the physicists working at CERN. Obviously! So he's moved to prevent the startup of the Large Hadron Collider - which, as we all know, is located "near Generva, Switzerland"[sic].

Indeed, what better person to handle this matter than a guy who has appeared on noted crackpot woo-woo show Coast to Coast? A show notable for treating stories of aliens, time travel, psychics, and other such malarkey as credible facts. He was there to discuss the "magnetic monopole" he had captured. With a balloon. Why, he doesn't sound the least bit insane!

While the earth being sucked into an alternate universe with gravityless nazi spacefleets or spontaneously being made out of cheese is obviously of highest priority, let's not forget what else those nefarious scientists might do.


Incidentally, "particle billiards" is the best phrase I've ever heard used to describe what goes on in supercolliders.

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